Unity Candle Ceremonies in Lutheran Churches
October 17, 2006
Unity candle ceremonies are becoming more and more popular, but before you write it into your wedding blueprint, first find out if it is acceptable in your church, and in which ways. While it is a lovely way to express the symbol of two coming together as one, it does not fit in with the liturgy and ceremony of every church, and that may include your Lutheran church.
Some pastors believe that the alter is not the place for unity candles and candle holders. Pastor Sandra Dager of the First Lutheran Church of Palo Alto stated to us that "Many churches don’t have a proper or natural place for unity candles. It might be good to think about ways to help churches with the candle holders as well as the candles. I personally believe there should be a place other than the altar for the unity candles." It is a good idea to get your minister’s opinion ahead of time on where the unity candles will fit in if they are permitted.
After you’ve decided on where the actual candles will fit, consider how the unity ceremony will take place. Pastor Dager offers some advice on the matter: "Having appropriate rubrics or instructions for this rite is important. (Who lights the two candles, and when? Should there be music during the lighting, or silence? Etc.)"
Also, if you do include the unity candle ceremony into your wedding, make sure the photographers are not too intrusive. As tempting as it might be to have this beautiful ceremony photographed, it could take away from the sacredness of the wedding. "Care should be taken so that photographers/videographers, etc. do not intrude upon the service to 'capture the moment' on film." Says Dager, "A wedding is, first and foremost, worship." She notes that sometimes photographers have had to take pictures after the service, when there was no room for them to get close-up photos during the service.
Remember, as lovely as this ceremony may be, it is a fairly new trend, and will not always be welcomed with open arms by all clergy. Dager comments "Candle lighting should never be seen as a necessary part of a wedding. No company should ‘push’ the ritual onto pastors or couples." The best thing to do is to discuss every detail with your minister before planning on adding this ceremony in your wedding.
For more information about unity candles, see:
Unity Candles
Lighting the Way when Two Become One
Whether you want to add a little extra romance to an evening reception or a little glow to your house of worship, candles are a natural, effortless addition to your wedding theme. You'll have no trouble finding a role for candles at the wedding ceremony, at the reception, and even as part of the floral displays.
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